Sometimes, the best time I have is just being. At home, on the couch, turn off the phone, and sit with Maddax reading or playing, just doing nothing. I love my son and I am a good mother and that makes me happy. Our bond we have is not comparable to any other mother/child bond of anyone else I know. For one, because it is just the two of us. Our time together is consumed with each and that makes it special. Yes, he gets tired of me and I know that, which I think he is pretty tired of me right now. I can always tell when we are getting on each others nerves and need a break ...he wakes up in a bad mood and when I pick him up from school he is happy to see me at first, then when we get in the car he just sits looking bored. Then I get all yippy and happy and try to talk to him and he tells me, "hush, Mommy. You not my friend." Of course he doesn't mean it and I know that so I keep on aggravating the mess out of him. Sorry, Maddax I am your friend and you are mine. You are my best friend and a blessing. With you, there is no judging or degrading. You are security instead of insecurity and love instead of betrayal. And I know that no matter what you will always love me...Unconditionally. I will always love you, no matter what. You are my strength and my weakness. You hold my hand when it looks as though I am holding yours. You make me see the truth in the world around us. Through your innocent eyes you help me see the small things...the important things.

Maddax is also very lucky to have many grandparents that love him and want to keep him so often. They are such a big help to me and do not even know it. More than that, though, he loves them all very much, which is important to me. I had very strong relationships with my grandparents and I miss the ones that are gone so much and it is amazing how often I think of them. They had such an outstanding impact on my life as a small child and as an adult now. I am fortunate enough to have both of my mother's parents still with me. The thought of losing them, my mom and my pop, makes me hurt all over. I was thinking the other day if something happened to my grandmother I would have to be put somewhere b/c I love her so much. She is the most beautiful part of our family. Thank you, to my parents, for giving me the opportunity to know my grandparents in a way that I don't think all children get to. I feel like I was raised by both in a way, my parents and grandparents. I want only the same experience for Maddax and boy is he lucky to have so many that love him. I have actually been criticized for letting him go to see his grandparents too much. Probably every other weekend he goes to stay with one grandparent or another, and to some people I guess that seems like too much. It doesn't seem like too much to me and it sure doesn't to Maddax. He loves them, dearly and they love him. It seems very fortunate to me.