sometimes there are just no words.

sometimes there are just no words. everything almost has changed since i last posted. i hope the new year is better. i hope to tie up the lose ends in my life in peace...that would be outstanding. nothing ever happens like you plan on it happening. i love my children. the love in me is them. that is all i can say about anything. live your life like you want to. be true to you because it will come through in other people. teach your children to pray. teach your children to apologize. respect their opinions and their moods. let them be sad if they want to and let them cry if they need to and don't forget that sometimes we all just need to scream...even a two year old, because damn it..sometimes it sucks. let them embrace all the things in life...even the disappointments.

and be happy. just learn to be. i can find happiness when i look for it. it is in the smallest things and the simplest gestures. you will find what you seek.

T-Ball Time!!!

Maddax and Clayton

Maddax

Jaxon #6

Baby Ty says, "Go Maddax Go!"

and when i moved here i had no idea how everything would change....

i don't even know where to start with what all has been going on in my life. two boys. a single mom. working. basketball. t-ball. diapers. walking. learning to talk. there are so many things we are doing right now. learning to love again. learning to trust again. learning that no matter what we will always have each other and that there really isn't any person that can tear us apart. we are us. and how we do it is our right way. because its our way. jennifer maddax and baby ty. they are my we.
and our newest addition is one that took me especially by suprise. to be loved in the right way. loved back. to know that you are the one and it be okay. matthew. the other part of my we. and the getting to the point of being their us.

hamburgians............ again.

and now we have ellie, the dog. we get to be 'those people' that take family pictures with their pets

more of us........

Baby Tyson turned ONE!!!

and this is sweetest person in the whole world and he loves ME.

i gotten to spend so much wonderful time with my two bestest friends

chris is beautiful and moving away to Florida....... :(

jon is silly. i do not see how carly puts up with him.

and so matthew says, "WE ARE NOT HAMBURGIANS." we are just misplaced and waiting.

so this is where we are now.

happy. free. content. expanding.

i miss the possibilities that once were there and to say that i don't would be a fat lie. we are making the most of this, though. there is a lot of good, but there lacks certain things i wished to instill in my children here. there is a lot here that i do not ever want for them. it bottles up my mind. anything bottled up is not a good thing, just speaking from experience. it makes my job harder to teach them to look beyond the opinions of others and the simple minded ways of those that do not know any different. we will not conform.

because they are a product of me and me will not have that.

so so long ago....

i used to post on here every day, but have not in quiet some time. it seems that after making some very nervous and difficult choices in my life all that used to spark my mind is slowing seeping back in. maybe it is a sign or some type of lesson to NOT live your life with those that slowly and ultimately cause it to seep away. maybe i am weak in the mind for letting this happen. i cannot know that or have known that, but just find it ironic that i have not felt compelled to write or paint or sing or dance or be until now.

Precious Little Dolls

Baby Tyson. He will be three months old tomorrow. Sorry I am not a very good updater. I am very very busy. Hopefully, more recent pics will follow.