"When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us." Helen Keller

when you stop and look at how big of a problem it is in your in life...you may realize that it is not so big. the bigger problem is how much of your life it is consuming. so much that this problem is taking you away from the important things. casted aside because you don't feel like you can deal with it right now. stop running, stop thinking about it, put it aside and let it go. make list, prioritize, set some goals for yourself and your family and try to acheive them. this is not your fault and there is nothing you can do alone to change it or make it the way you would like to have it. it is all predestined to work out this way. so stop and let it go and grow in the life that is yours...the one that counts on you and the one that needs to be there in your fullest. this life that is yours is so much more wonderful than the life you think someone else needs to bring to you. and the sooner you realize this the better off you will both be. you are not broken or a half of a whole that is somewhere out there looking for you. your whole is right here. it already exists. stop trying to fix what really is not broken. open your eyes and look at the blessing of the life that you already have. you are not really alone. you are not really ever alone but putting off what is most important is not helping you in any situation that is created. stop trying to make this more and hold on to what you know is not real. trust what you feel. trust your experience. open your eyes and take hold of what i have already given you. the rest will come. remember, this is not for you to decide. it is all predetermined. let go of the bad and the past. all that you have is right now. next time, leave the door closed and keep it that way. if it needs to be reopened it should not be done by you. it is not something you can make happen or change or fix to make it how you think it ought to be. trust that it is how it should be.