I just thought this was a cute picture and of course it is. Maddax is growing up so much and looking like a big kid. Its so hard for me to believe that he can dress himself, navigate the computer, brush his own teeth, run his bathwater, figure out the playstation, dvd, tv or just whatever. he can do most of what i do and its scary. he informed me the other day that it wasn't fair that he didn't get to drive the car. he really thought he should be able to drive the car and was extremely pissed that i didn't let him. i finally got him calmed down with, "you can when you are 16." he got all wrapped up into "when i am 16, what? and what is 16 mean?" anyway, he figured it out and hasn't brought up driving the car for awhile. Last night he was wanting me to go get a screw driver out of the car so I could change the batteries in one of his trains. I told him to hold and I'd so it in a minute.

him: "1..., 2...,"
me: "what are you doing? Are you going to count to 3 and put me in timeout? "
him: "I am trying to get you to do what I say."

I couldn't help but laugh. And it doesn't work for him and you can guess that it didn't work for me either. Which brings me to this...Disciplining a child.

how do you discipline a child with out doing it wrong? i mean, forcing them to do something is one way and sometimes that has to be done, but i really try hard not be a huge force of nature that sweeps through the house proclaiming orders of do this and do that or else. and what is the "or else" part? Spanking? Timeout? Screaming? Taking stuff away? Pitching a fit myself? Doing it myself anyway? i know i have been guilty of all the previous listed. which one made me feel like what i wanted to be done actually got done? honestly, none of them. no matter how many times they work, i left feeling like a big ass dictator thats is pushing what i want on someone else and not leaving them any choice to do otherwise. what is that? parenting? is it really "our way or the highway?"

i try the reasoning form of parenting when my patience or lack thereof do not get the best of me. maddax is very strong willed and he knows he is right about everything. not one of those children you can tell, "no." and that be the end. because you see he has to "why?" and an indepth "why?" the whole explanation and then another explanation of the first explanation b/c that one wasn't really in terms a 4 year old could easily understand. this leads to a lot of talking about, "why you can't wear pants that are too small or stay up so late." then, here comes "the force of nature evil dictator" that just wants to yell, "because I said you can't!! and thats why!! don't question me!!" oh the frustration of it all. i mean, i know how to get my child to do what i want him to do, but i do not necessarily enjoy how it makes me feel or him feel. somethings can be reasoned and sometimes they just can't be. but at what point do we give in to the dictatorship? i know, A LOT of people believe that they are the supreme ruler and dictator of their children and they WILL do what they tell them to.

i guess is on my mind because i made maddax go to bed by himself last night. i didn't lay down with him and he got no sippy cup. these ARE bad habits. they are LONG over due for dropping. but i just did it. i put him to bed and left and told him to go to sleep and then wouldn't get his sippy cup. he cried and cried. i made him stay in there. it was not easy. i refused to go check on him after i left. gosh, i didn't sleep i felt so awful. i still feel awful about it, but it worked and he slept in his bed all night by himself. i just keep thinking about why i didn't even talk to him about it. why last night just happened to be the night. and what will i do tonight because i know he's gonna cry. i don't know which parent to be the "reasoner" or the "dictator". Can i be both?