VENT SESSION

I wish I was a selfish person sometimes. It would really make my life a lot easier in many circumstances. I feel really torn between places in my life right now and it sucks. This really bothers me because there are things that I want to do, but I can't because: 1) It is not what someone else thinks I should do...2) It would leave out a friend(s) of mine other than those involved...3) It would hurt the feelings of those that are so used to me being so passive...4) Maybe seems too spontaneous for a single mother...5) I can't say yes or no to anybody or anything...it is always "maybe" or "we'll see."

I am tired of being this way. Except for the No. 5. that is just the way I am. I cannot commit to just ONE thing or ONE choice. You know why? See No. 1 - No. 4. There is part of your answer.

Well, I am going to try to be different, since this is MY LIFE. From now on - no more consideration for what everyone else may feel about what I do or what I say or where I go or who I talk to...because point blank...If I am always doing what I want to do...then I should be HAPPY!

Let me go ahead and clarify for those reading...
no.1) I am writing this because I want to...not because of you or anyone else
no. 2) This doesn't have anything to do with you
no. 3) I am not trying to hurt any feelings...it is not about you
no. 4) Really doesn't apply to this
no. 5) Will I explain further? Maybe... we'll see...That is just me...my spontaneity is what makes me, ME. My ability to change my mind or my direction at anytime is one thing that differentiates me from most everyone else I know. The effect it has on my ability to make a concrete decision....well, that is something to work on.