Inspired Morning

Dropping my son off at school I prepared for our usual routine...he sits down, I take away his sassy (yes, he still has it), put out his breakfast, kiss his face, tell him bye and leave. But this morning after I kissed his slobbery sweet mouth and got up to leave he said, "Mommy, come hug me." So I went and hugged him, heart touched and about to cry, and of course not wanting to leave him. The joys of children are never ending. My point here is different, though. For me, as a person I don't think I could ever ask someone to "come hug me." It is either something that you do or something that you don't. Expressing emotion is not the easiest for all people and I fall right in the middle of that category. Even my grandmother has told me that when I was a small child I would not let anyone comfort or hold me. I was too independent, as I am now, and I want to handle everything on my own- even the need for love or the need to be loved. Yes, there are people in my life that I love very dearly...I hug them and tell them when they tell me first and depart from a visit...blah, blah, blah - you know the routine.

Well, one of my missions as a parent has been to raise my son (and the fact that he is a boy is very important in this situation) not to be afraid to express his love or his need to be loved. If you love someone, tell them. I want him to be able to show his emotion and know that is it okay to have feelings and it is okay to let them show. Life is hard and not always the way we think it should be. There are ups and there are downs. He will need people in his life as he grows older, a lot of people, and he will need hugs continuously to get him through his journey. Asking for one when you need one is sometimes easier than waiting for the other person to notice. Easier said than done - for me. That is why I like the blog thing, I am a writer-type, show you how I feel person. I can tell you in five minutes on a piece of paper what would take me a lifetime to say to your face - flawed, but we all are in some way or another. (recognizing our flaws - next mission as a parent to teach my child)

It is very fulfilling as a parent to know that I am accomplishing my goal with my child - to raise him not to be ME, but to pass on my good qualities and by recognizing my own flaws and shortcomings - teach him otherwise. I give him my good and my bad as a foundation to learn and grow. He also without knowing teaches me things and helps me recognize who I am. This morning I learned from him that saying "come hug me" or "I need you" is not so hard to say.

So, to all my family and all my friends - I love you and need you and hug you right now. Thank you for putting up with me - good and bad - you are loved and hugged more than you know. To my son, thank you for not being afraid to need people - you are stronger than your mother in more ways than you know.